Mrs. Rahlo's Closet and Other Mad Tales by R.E. Klein

Author:R.E. Klein [KLEIN, R. E.]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: FIC000000
ISBN: 9780759525139
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Published: 2001-07-15T04:00:00+00:00

The next years I spent between the leaves of scholarly books or in compiling lecture notes. I was a professor now of statistical analysis, and published articles in learned journals, with now and then a textbook that few cared to read. Oh, the girls still ran in my thoughts, the girls and the games. The likeliest partners were my students, but I learned a lesson early on. Girls involved in statistical analysis seldom take an interest in Dogdance.

I am well into middle age; the once fertile scalp that sometime sprouted bumper crops is shiny now and fallow. My eyebrows are become a profusion of grotesque wires. My stomach bulges convex. I am lost without my reading glasses. Yet I am happy without let or measure, for I at last have found her.

It happened six years ago on campus. The students had got up some sort of festival in honor of Cinco de Mayo. To avoid the off-key trumpets and crack of castanets, I found myself dodging among some seldom-used maintenance buildings, trying to hold on to my cap and gown while I sought escape from what I considered an intrusion on academic hospitality.

I came upon her suddenly, provocatively poised by the drinking fountain, proud as a conquistador, a beauty by any standards. She had her dress pulled high to adjust her stocking. And as I nearly swooned at the wonder of it, our eyes took hold, and her dress remained high. Of course, with no one else about, I was instantly on my knees, chewing at her garter strap. After a lifelong search, this is how I met my wife, my bondage of bliss and unalloyed rapture.

And she, what was it she said on that brightest of May mornings so long ago? Merely this:

“I am Estrelita—want to play Cowpants?”

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